This is the first voice other than mine at De Su Mama and I am proud to say that comes in a form of a letter from my little brother Kris, to his one and only niece. We are not even two years apart, so its kind of silly to call him my “little” brother. He’s a grown man now, married to a beautiful woman and conquering the world with her love and support. But while reading his letter to my precious Alina, I couldn’t help but see the little boy he used to be.
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| Kris and I – Halloween 2008 |
I’m Cuban, 100%, and we enjoy food like most Cubans do. Throw in a divorce, economic difficulties, a young mom trying to find her way in a world she wasn’t prepared to take on alone, and you get the situation my brother describes below. I had a very happy childhood, please don’t get me wrong, but I agree with Kris that our health was probably not the foremost concern.
The Great Abuelo that Kris refers to is my grandfather, who we call Papi. He passed away a little over a year ago, on Kris’s wedding day, just hours after holding his only great-grandchild for the very first time. His loss is the single greatest heartbreak of my life. I can’t even type about him without losing it. Wow, anyway. Papi was a great many things, but he was also notoriously unhealthy and overweight. He lived approaching his 80′s mostly because of fantastic, privately purchased {very expensive}, healthcare. I remember not even being ten years old when he got his first heart valve bypass. In Papi’s later years, he began advocating exercise and a healthy diet; especially to Kris. He was in his 70′s when he joined the gym for the first time. This is in staunch contrast to his wife, my grandmother, who is a health nut, gym fanatic.
Kris looks SO much like Papi. And, until this point in his life, seemed destine to have inherited Papi’s girth as well. All of us that adore Kris prayed that he would see the correlation of his health choices and Papi’s struggles, but Kris rejected this vision for many years. Until he met his wife, who with loving and tender support, helped him realize the importance of leading a health conscience life. I owe this woman way too much to think about, and I love her immensely.
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| Tio and Tia with newborn Alina. |
My very humble {and I hope I don’t go too far, brother} opinion is that Kris was not ever very happy or comfortable with his identity as an overweight and unhealthy person. I’m not even referring to body image, or trying to fit a certain weight/height requirement. I think Kris abused food for other reasons, as he says below, and it made him feel crappy about himself. Since marrying Alina’s beloved Tia V, Kris has lost nearly eighty {8.0.!} pounds, and counting. Kris still enjoys food and the occasional beverage, but its not abused. And he has grown to love exercise and the strong body he has because of it. He is conscience about the healthy life he is leading, and that choice is the most important to his identity. Kris’s personal identity is firmly grounded in this assertion, in fact.
With their new found bodies, Kris and V are even tackling their first triathalon in Washington D.C. this September in support of Leukemia & Lymphoma Society! To read their blog posts and more details of their triathlon preparations, check out the Join Team WestsideMartinez page. Stop over there and hi, tell them their big sister sent you, maybe even consider making a tax-deductible donation to help them achieve their goal. Either way, Kris and V would be humbled.
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| Kris celebrating his birthday in Chicago – 2011 |
Dear Alina,
This blog is a wonderful gift from your mother. It allows the people who love you most an opportunity to be a part of your life, even when we can’t. You will probably have all these notes from mom and all these people to go over when you grow up. I wanted to help you, and share with you, probably the most important decision you will have in life: the decision to stay healthy. All the other notes will be important, but none as important, to me, than your health.
Your mother and I grew up in a household that is probably not as fortunate as yours. Not that there wasn’t love, but time is valuable when you have a family to support. Things like health are easily dismissed when you have to provide for two growing children. As well, in your life, information is much more accessible. Technology is improving and knowledge is much more powerful. For us though, a Happy Meal, well, was just happy. A few bucks to feed the kids was a good thing. More importantly, for our family love was shown through food. It was not odd for me to be served two plates of dinner at night. This went on for all of our youth, up until I married your Tia. You will hear stories of your Great-Abuelo that you were so blessed to meet. He had the same problems that I had, but for him, his changes happened too late. His decisions, like the ones you and I have, cost him in his health, in his life. Think about life and what it means to you.
Growing up I wasn’t a fan of taking direction. I wanted to do things my way. Most of the time, it was a bad direction, health wise. I think it is okay to make bad decisions. What you make of them is where the true blessing comes from. So, when you read this, you may say, “that’s not true, not me.” And, that’s okay. I encourage you to explore life. But, when you are ready, know that your Tio is here to work beside you.
Also, when it comes to health you shouldn’t have to live life scared of catching a cold or, the “germs in the air.” A healthy body (which already contains bacteria), a body free of toxins, will have a strong enough immune system that will protect you from common illness. What will get you sick is the stuff they put in processed foods; those are poisons. Then you go see the doctor, and to get you better, she will inject you with more viruses of stuff that can get you sick as well. When you eat, eat whole foods that are not genetically processed. You should know the ingredients of the food you are eating. If it sounds like a scientist made up the ingredients, please stay away. Being healthy combats very dangerous diseases like diabetes and cholesterol problems. Ask your mother about this stuff.
When you eat, don’t overeat. Try to eat slow. I am horrible at this. But learn to eat slowly, it will allow your stomach and your brain time to communicate that you are full. This is where the majority of my weight lose is attributed to. Also, try to always have vegetables in your meals, or salads. You love veggies. It was the first foods your mother fed you. Finally, if you eat your whole plate and want more, drink water, walk around, and come back. If you are still hungry, eat an apple. Remember, the purpose of eating is to fuel your body of vital nutrients it needs to repair and recover. Eating is not something that should be abused.
Finally, I want to tell you that living a healthy life is not easy. It will require help. You will need support. Being vocal about your goals in life is a tool that I hope you learn to use. Opportunities will present themselves and potentially important relationships will be formed.
I love you very much, Alina. With all my heart.
Thank you for sticking through this rather long post. Leading a health conscience life is something I hope will come much easier to Alina than it does for Kris and I. Her health is so very important to me. As always, your suggestions, tips and tricks are always appreciated.
Very sweet letter from your brother.
A couple of years ago I came across a book called “Eat to Live” and “Feeding kids right” written by Dr Joel Fuhrman. These books are full on very useful information – on navigating the path to obtain or regain health. I wish you have the time to read them.
Thank you for the comment, whoever you may be! I will certainly look into your recommendations and add them to my list of books to read.
sorry I forgot to put my name – Janeth
I hardly ever comment I’m new to the bloging world, I’m in the process of creating a blog. I like to read some of them and yours is one of those.
I like the way you write and I admire people who are aware of living a healthy life…
Janeth