De Su Mama

Legacy of Multiracial Motherhood

Mixed Hair: Personal Identity

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My hair is really curly and resembles mixed hair textures. The hair itself is very fine, but I have a ton of it, making hair care management a challenge. None of this brush and go stuff that straight haired women do. Actually, it was even more curly when I was younger, when it was healthier, and I was living in California where humidity played a big factor in its puffy, frizzy nature. Over the years, the texture of my hair has relaxed {not sure why}, but when I was a kid/teenager it was tight curls/frizz all over a place where straight hair was the only thing I saw {and wanted}. Lets just say that its taken me many years to fully embrace my curly locks.

mixed hair, biraical baby, latino family, personal identity, hair identity, identity projetc, cultural identity
mixed hair, biraical baby, latino family, personal identity, hair identity, identity projetc, cultural identity

Curly Mixed Hair and Personal Identity: What do they have in common?

My Mom’s hair is straight. It has some volume, but mostly its just straight. Curly hair is foreign to her. And so, for me as a kid, this meant that my hair care routine was not tailored to my hair’s specific needs. That really sucked growing up {sorry Mom, but its true}. I was teased a lot because of the frizz; even calling me “curly sue” sent my younger self into an all out fit. It wasn’t until college that I 1.) socialized with other dark, curly haired girls and 2.) met guys that actually liked my dark, curly hair. How stupid that hair can influence your experiences {and identity} so drastically. But the truth is, I never truly felt beautiful with my curly mixed texture hair until I became an adult. AND when I learned how to properly care for it.

If you learn anything from this series of posts, let it be this: PLEASE DO NOT EVER DRY BRUSH CURLY MIXED HAIR. Brushing curly hair = frizz and breakage. Pretty please don’t do it.

I first started my extensive research in curly/textured hair care management when I became pregnant, and kicked the research into high gear when we learned the baby was a girl. Although I have never seen my Husband’s hair grown out {he keeps it shaved}, I knew it was likely that our Daughter was going to have some level of texture to her hair. And just because I fail to fully master my own hair type, I was not going to suffer my child through the same experiences. I can’t even french braid, let alone style hair, so I would need to start learning asap. 

mixed hair, biraical baby, latino family, personal identity, hair identity, identity projetc, cultural identity

Natural Biracial hair

As a woman with curly hair, my main goal is to ensure that Alina would love her biracial tresses in a healthy, natural form. No matter the texture, I am not about to add chemicals or heat treatments to her hair. I know there are moms that flat iron their daughter’s hair, and I truly don’t want to come across as judgmental, but I just can’t get down with that. A young girl needs to know and accept her natural beauty through modeling and praise of her hair’s beauty in its natural state.
I have set a personal goal to embrace my own curls, and wear my hair natural,  in order to exemplify the practice to my young daughter. I do straighten my hair when I go out of town, for simplicity, but I try to wear it curly on special occasions and photographs nowadays. And truly, my curls have never been prettier. With proper hair care and working on self love, I have come to accept and appreciate the beauty that is my curly mixed hair.
This series of posts on mixed hair will fill you in on: what I perceive Alina’s hair type to be {as of right now at less than two years old}, how I care for her hair, and all the goodies and resources I have discovered throughout my research. I hope to update the series as Alina grows and our mixed hair care routine changes.

Curly Mixed Hair Series Update:
Curly Mixed Hair: Toddler‘s Ringlet Curls


Protecting your Mixed Hair: Our Night Time Routine


mixed hair, biraical baby, latino family, personal identity, hair identity, identity projetc, cultural identity


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17 Discussions on
“Mixed Hair: Personal Identity”
  • I feel your pain lol. When I found out I was pregnant I had hoped for a boy because I knew if I had a girl I was going to have hair issues. Well, I have a girl. I knew my daughter was going to have very curly hair.

    Mimi has very kinky curls, exactly like the girl Teri from the website Tightly Curly (is that what its called). Ive tried a lot of different products. My favorite is from Blended Beauty. I order it Its called something like Happy Nappy styles, its a creme that I put on when her hair is wet and I let it dry.Its supposed to be all natural. Im not crazy about Mixed Chicks, and Im not crazy about any of the products sold in stores, although last week a friend of mine did put me up on something that she got from Target called Shea Moisture. I actually like it, and Ill get that when I dont have any of the creme from Blended Beauty because since I have to order it, Im sometimes left without any good products.

    I worry sometimes about my daughter, she is 4, because she always tells me she wants straight hair :(. My hair is straight and I guess she sees me doing my hair and she wants the same thing. Im not sure. I tell her that when I was young I always wanted curly hair. This is true. I was so jealous of the girls with curly hair. You know what Mimi said to me, “You get what you get, and you dont be upset.” I was laughing my butt off! Im not sure where she heard that from but its the truth! Ive actually been contemplating getting a curly perm just so that she will embrace her curls more. Ive taken her to the salon a few times to get her hair blown out and she likes that. Im not sure if that was a good idea, but she was with me at the salon one day and I asked her if she wants her hair washed and dried and she said yes and she sat there like such a big girl. Im fortunate to live where I do where there are salons and people who know how to manage hair like hers. Ive gotten her hair braided a few times also. I need to learn how to braid myself. Sometimes I will do her hair in twisties all over her head. I love how she looks when her hair is like that, its just that I dont do it too often because it is very time consuming and my hainds get tired lol. I laughed when you wrote about how her hair gets smashed in the car in the back. Occasionally when i let her wear her hair out and we go some where, Ill have to fix the flat head part when she exits the car lol.

    I am worried because I do not want her to EVER get a perm. Its ok now because I am in control, but when she gets to high school, I will worry. Maybe I should start telling her now how bad perms are. Maybe getting myself a curly perm is NOT a good idea. I should listen to her advice,”You get what you get, and you dont be upset!” LOL I love my daughter’s curls. They arent the easiest for me to maintain, but they are so pretty.

    Alina is beautiful and she has beautiful hair. She is lucky to have a mommy who is mindful about these kind of things, because it is something that is important to women. My child is FOUR and she has opinions on her hair and how it looks. She likes barrettes, headbands, ponytails, etc. We fight sometimes in the morning because she doesnt like what i picked for her to wear to school!

  • What a great post. It was so informative, but didn’t rattle on so don’t worry about it being too long. I’m glad you’ve embraced your curls because wow, they look wonderful {and I’m happy you’re happy}.

  • How refreshing to read this post! I am bi-racial and have extremely curly hair. I actually use Mixed Chicks hair products which works wonders on my hair! My 16 month old boy actually has dirty blonde hair with tangle free loose curls. I was shocked by that result! At birth he had black kinky curls. What a change.

  • I LOVE curlz for both of my girls. But my oldest hair is getting thicker and thicker as the years go by- shes 4…. Her hair is not coarse, her curls are beautiful, but it does take a lot of work. I LOVE shea moisture products, the coconut and hibiscus items are the best I have found, oh I will not put anything in my girls hair that contains parabens, or anything like it in their hair!!! The Shea Moisture smells soooo good, works fantastic, and I can use it myself, I have curly hair as well. Your little ones hair is fairly short so you shouldn’t need too much product. On my 2 year old I just use the moisture spray and sometimes a little of the curl milk and it is perfect. You should check them out- Some Targets and Walgreens carry them. My girls always get complements on how great their hair looks and everyone always asks my secrets, so it must look pretty good!!!

  • When she gets older try a product called S-curl. You can find it at walmart/target. When I was younger my white mother with bone straight hair,who had NO ideas how to care for my tight curly bi-racial hair, used it on my hair and it worked great! I still use it when I wear my hair natural. But a bit of a warning, a little goes a long way.

  • My mom always kept my hair short because she nor I knew what to do with the curls. Both my sisters have STRAIGHT hair and I was so excited when I was 22 to learn how to straighten mine. But at 32, I finally LOVE my curls!

    I just discovered Ouidad. I love their products. Got rid of my dry scalp and made my curls manageable for the first time in my life, for the long term, without a salon!

  • OMG! Thanks so much for this post. I’ve been researching hair care for my baby girl as well. I’ve always noticed that Alina had beautiful curly locks and I have been meaning to ask about her your care routine for her. Princess’s hair is just beginning to come in and I’m learning as I go. I only wash her hair once a week because it gets so dry. Right now it’s straight on the top and curly at the back. We’ll see how it grows!

  • I have a bi-racial son (15months) who has the most gorgeous, tight ringlets. I have fine, super thick, coarse kinky/curly ringlets…. A TON of it. My husband’s side has kinky curls as well. I’ve noticed some of my son’s curls at the crown of his scalp are becoming very nappy/matted and I’m looking for a great moisture product and leave-in for post bath. We only shampoo every couple of days. But due to our hair type and the fact that we are on well water(very drying!!) I’m at a loss. I don’t want to put crazy product in his hair, but right now I’m using coconut oil even though it’s greasy….I tried a curl moisturizer from curly kids(I think) amd he broke out in a rash where it touched his neck 🙁 any advice on products for a little boy with tight, kinky curls?

    • At your little man’s age, I used the kids’line from Curls almost exclusively. The infant line is organic, but my girl has a ton of hair by 15 months so I moved up. Alina is now 5 and I only recently started using styling products. At your son’s age, I used a no-poo, rinse out condition and a leave in/deep conditioner. To style, I would spray with water to reactive the conditioner and that worked well for us for several years. Hope that helps!

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