De Su Mama

Legacy of Multiracial Motherhood

The Thing About Having A Baby Brother…

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Is that he will always be your baby brother.

Outside of my nucleus, my siblings have my heart. I treasure my parents, my grandparents and extended family. My best and closest friends have pieces of me that I will forever be loyal too. But, my siblings… they have my heart in ways only my children and husband usher above.

The thing about having “baby” siblings, so many years your junior, is that their years of childhood development, adolescent mischief and adult embarkations, are your conscience memories. You are THERE, mindful and opinionated. Instead of rolling in the dirt with him, you are there to dust him off. Stand him up. Straighten him out. Parentified? No, I don’t think so. Just older, wiser and invested, along with Mom and Dad, to raise to great kid. And, I gotta say, my baby brother is a great kid…

As he sets off into the world with his AP honor credits and views of how the world ought to be, I am terrified. I fear he isn’t ready for it, because who is ever completely prepared for what life throws at you, fresh out of high school, not even 18 years old? How will my baby brother adjust at college? Will he take care of his health? Will he stay focused and self disciplined to go to class, even if no one seems to notice? I want and expect so much for his future. I want him to know how imperative these next few years are to the success of his future…

In a very real way, my baby brother was like my first baby. Watching him grow has been one of the biggest pleasures of my life. But letting go of that baby has been painstakingly awkward. Unlike my brother only two years younger, it is not so natural to consider my baby brother a peer or friend. I am relentlessly conscience of the messages I send when talking with him. I am not casual in my behaviors. And although I am just his sister, he is still a baby and needs my guidance.


Wrong. In my heart, I know that. He is a man in the making, and needs to venture into this world independently to actualize all that he will become. Letting go of my “baby” brother still sucks though.

I imagine it will suck as bad letting go of my own babies when the time comes {okay, it will suck way worse}. And don’t think its just me: Daddy D feels the same way. We are two obsessed, over-protective parents if there have ever been any. We’re in for it.

My baby brother has so much to learn, and I am excited for all the wonderful experiences that await him. I am certain he will grow into a man that I am proud of, one that I hope Sebastian looks up to.

But the thing about having a baby brother is that he will always be your baby brother. That’s just the way it works.

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2 Discussions on
“The Thing About Having A Baby Brother…”
  • I know just how you feel. My youngest brother is only 4.5 years younger than me, but he will always be my “baby” brother.
    I’m sure your little bro will do great, having such a great family to support him.
    Oh – and my “baby” brother is way taller than me, too! 🙂

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