De Su Mama

Legacy of Multiracial Motherhood

How I Bond With The Child So Unlike Me

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I’m convinced motherhood is the bearer of life lessons. During no other time in life has my sense-of-self evolved so completely than when challenged by my children to do so. They truly make me a better human being and I’m excited to partner with our friends from N.B.T.F. Nothing But The Fruit™ to share this story. Thank you for supporting the brands that believe in moms like us!

Within the very same moment, my 5-year-old son both captivates and infuriates. He was walking at 8 months, running by a year and hasn’t slowed down since.  He doesn’t think much before making a decision and rarely changes his mind. He will run you over just before declaring his love – both with equal intensity. He isn’t humble in the least, but failure scares him to paralysis. His focus is limited to only what he deems interesting and, though capable of risking limbs for physical pursuits, refuses to sound out a word unless he knows for sure how to read it. He only wants to be right, be knowing. Never wrong. Never learning.

I know this boy is mine of my flesh, but sometimes I look at him and wonder who he came from; where he inherited this ferocious energy for life, his positivity; who nurtured these selfish ambitions that fill his soul with joy; or what makes him so, so scared of failure and lacking that he’s sometimes not even willing to try.

How do I bond with a son who is so unlike me?

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Mother + Son Moments That Bind Us

I think that’s the biggest hurdle for me sometimes as a mother: the balance between molding your kids into who you think they should be and fostering (and accepting) the beauty of who they already are. I love learning and pondering; I change my mind constantly. I don’t care if I look like a fool, but I’m also really sensitive. He’s none of those things.

But this week we shared some of our best moments together ever.

He’s been in a skateboarding summer camp that challenges him to focus; he’s looking to me for guidance and support; he’s even slowing down a bit and not having to be disciplined all day. It’s been such a great week that we decided to have a picnic lunch to chat about his wins. In addition to talking about things HE enjoys, the way to Sebastian’s heart is through his stomach. He loves sweets! For our picnic, I made a sandwich, packed up fresh veggies and stopped at Starbucks for a refreshing strawberry spritzer for him and an iced coffee for me.

I also picked up a new snack that I knew he would love: N.B.T.F. Nothing But The Fruit™.

NBTF is a new healthy snack of real fruit bites at over 7,500+ Starbucks stores. These bite-sized snacks are made with 100% real fruit that’s picked, pureed, and pressed! They know healthy snacking is important to families, so NBTF is also non-GMO, vegan & gluten free with no added sugars, artificial preservatives, artificial flavors, fillers or waxes.  In addition to Starbucks, NBTF is also available at Target, Meijer, Winn Dixie, BI-LO and online at They’re officially a kid favorite.

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No doubt about it: motherhood makes me a better human being. It makes me more kind, less judgemental and a better listener. I love my son unconditionally – with all his quirks and intensity for life – but working towards a solid mother/son bond that serves as our future foundation is the ultimate goal in parenting.

Simple afternoons like this –  unhurried, picnic lunch, a special fruit snack and all of mom’s admiration – is when I feel him connected to me. Days like this is when I feel he knows me and loves me.

Loving my beautiful son is always easy, but learning to let go of expectations and set my sights on bonding with the child so unlike me has been one of the most rewarding lessons in motherhood.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Nothing But The Fruit. The opinions and text are all mine.

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2 Discussions on
“How I Bond With The Child So Unlike Me”
  • I just started following you and realized our journey with mixed hair is the same.
    I’m still trying to figure out how to encourage my 8 year old how to embrace her curls when every hair routine has ended with tears and regrets.
    It really has been an expensive battle with Jasmine’s hair and I hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    In the mean time I continue to encourage my sweet girl to love the hair God gave you and not someone else’s!

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