De Su Mama

Legacy of Multiracial Motherhood

15 Most FAQ Answered: Curly Biracial Hair Care Tips

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If I told you how many emails I get on a weekly basis about Alina’s curly hair, you wouldn’t believe me. From white moms, black moms, adoptive moms, grandmoms, and especially Latina moms, they all share in their pursuit for healthy biracial hair. The love for their kids always shines through, and it makes me proud to know these awesome moms are raising multiracial children who love their mixed curly hair.

Raising Multiracial Children and Biracial Hair

What I’ve learned from all these women is that biracial hair – which is not a technical term, because hair is hair… not a race – is more than just a beauty regime. It’s about the combination of cultures, the redefinition of beauty and a deep desire to raise happy kids.

This post on Mixed Hair Care Tips for Tips for Toddler’s Ringlet Curls has been all over Pinterest. This one on Mixed Hair Care: Night Time Routine for Ringlet Curls has been viewed many times, too. Both posts, and the others I’ve written on biracial hair and identity, have received many comments and emails and I thought a post answering the most common questions was warranted. As a note, these pictures are of Alina’s hair two days after a deep condition and first thing in the morning. I had not touched it all before taking these pictures.

Here are 15 of most common FAQ answered…

Curly biracial hair tips for multiracial children

Most Common FAQ Biracial Hair Questions

1. Products! By far, the most common question asked is about the products I use on Alina’s curly hair. This is hard to answer because I use many different brands for many different purposes – and I’m constantly changing. Some of the staples we always keep on hand, though, are: Mixed Chicks Leave-In, Eden Deep Conditioner (at Walmart), Shea Deep Conditioners (at Walmart, in stores), Carol’s Daughter’s co-wash and Quidad’s Define and Shine Curly Styling Gel Cream. I also use a variety of less expensive conditions to use as a combing conditioner (see explanation below), such as: Johnson’s No More Tangles, Sauve’s Moroccan Oil line and a few others. Eventually I’ll have a page for Mixed Hair Care Products We Love (it will be hyperlinked when live).

2. Tools! By far the next most requested information is what we use to manage her hair. I use a variety of combs – for general combing, combating small tangles and styling. And I also swear by these Spring Bands by Mixed Chicks. They are they only hair bands I use now and they have been AMAZING on preventing breakage. Alina literally has no breakage. Also, we don’t use or own a brush at all. Not for my hair or hers. We don’t brush wet or dry. No brushes!!!

3. In Between Days: I’ve been asked repeatably about the days in between her deep condition. I wrote the original hair care post over a year ago. At 4.5 years old, Alina needs deep conditioning more often. On the days we wet her hair, I put in as much conditioner as her hair “asks” for. On the days we don’t wet her hair, the curls remain as-is and we style as needed. We always use a spray bottle during styling and use conditioners and styling agents as needed.

4. What kind of conditioners do you use? This is another loaded question that could take days to answer, but I think I finally have a formula that works for us. I use three different conditioners on Alina’s biracial hair: combing condition (used to detangle hair), deep conditioner (that I leave in) and a leave-in conditioner (used for styling). I don’t follow package instructions and use the amount needed for my daughter’s hair to be feel properly moisturized.

5. Do you leave all of that condition in her hair? Yes. The answer is yes. I shampoo or co-wash her hair and rinse. But then I use a comb through conditioner to help me work through the tangles and do not rinse. Most of it comes out during the detangling process, but I don’t make an effort to remove it. A deep condition comes after, if needed or weekly, using my finger tips to close the cuticles of each strand of hair. This is when I check the ends and assess for breakage. But, no. I don’t rinse out conditioner.

biracial hair care tips on multiracial children

6. How do I get the “wet” look? I’ve gotten this question – or the reference – on how to get the “wet” look and this is what I think… curly hair looks wet when its wet, but when it’s dry… is it dry? The real question here should be whether the biracial hair is properly moisturized. Because of its shape and texture, it’s very hard to have shiny curly hair. It won’t look wet when dry. You need to constantly be adding moisture to curly hair so that it looks healthy and to weigh it down. Consider the texture of the hair at the root, and if the hair looks dried out, wet it and use a product to keep the moisture in.

7. When did curls start to drop? I don’t know… have they? Alina’s hair goes down her back when wet, and because I refuse to use a brush, embrace hydrated curls and only keep her hair down or in protected styles, she has suffered minimal breakage. But at 4.5 years old, her hair is only chin length. She has never had a cut, other than a little at-home chop to remove some yucky stuff. I used to band her hair faithfully at night, helping to train the hair downward. Eventually, she’ll have a professional cut to give her tresses some shape, but I don’t mind waiting for the extra-long curls to arrive. As long as her curls look defined and healthy, I’m happy.

8. How about letting the hair air-dry? I don’t like letting Alina’s hair air dry. For my loose curls, sure. But because of the crazy amount of shrinkage that occurs, I stay away from air drying with Alina. A few weeks ago we let her hair air dry before my brother’s graduation – I even used a blow dryer on cold pointing down to avoid the shrinkage, but that hardly helped. She had the most adorable curly temple ringlets that day, but the shrinkage was crazy! If we have to air dry, that’s fine… but usually I prefer to have her hair dry overnight in a banded ponytail, using additional leave-in conditioners with hold during styling.

biracial hair care tips on multiracial children

9. Sleep routine updated: We still do not use a scarf or head wrap. They kind of freak me out and I’d rather not lose sleep wondering if my little, wild sleeper accidentally inhales it and suffocates. I’m crazy, I know. If her hair is dry at bedtime (meaning, we didn’t wet it at bath time or she went to bed without a bath), it’s not tied at all. Her curls have set and don’t need to be banded. Just a little water and leave-in during styling the next day. I’ve started to wrap sections of her hair around a low/mid bun to preserve the curl and center of her scalp (we were having an issue with dryness there). Hopefully I’ll do a post on that technique soon.

10. Is her hair wet at bedtime? Yup, it sure is. And she sleeps in a warm bed on a satin pillow case with dreams of doggies and dandelions running through her mind. I’m not worried about it.

11. How long does your routine take – a.k.a THIS IS SO MUCH WORK! I feel ya, mama. This IS a ton of work. But your kids will be happier for it. Alina’s hair routine, at its longest, takes close to an hour. The detangling part takes the most time and is dependent on how many days I’ve been lazy. My husband is amazing and helps out, but try as he may, he never gets it right. TOUCH those curls and release the tangles. Ensure the conditioner has been adsorbed completely and use your finger tips to close the hair shaft.

12. Speaking of tangles… What’s with the frustration with tangles? Tangles shouldn’t be an issue with curly hair until it’s time to DEtangle the hair. When I get emails about tangles, I think of my mom batting down my head with a brush. Curly hair is going to tangle, my friends. Let go of the image of tangle-free tresses and embrace the beautiful curls you have. Curly hair also doesn’t shed like straight hair – because of the tangles that keep hair on the scalp – and thus the massive amount of hair loss during detangling. Yes – you need to get rid of the tangles to ensure your high quality conditioners are being adsorbed. But once the curls are set and defined, they’re going to tangle. Let it go. Also, for my teenager girl readers, please let go of Prince Charming running his fingers through your perfectly detangled mane. That game is old news and you don’t need that dude, anyway.

biracial hair care tips on multiracial children

13. Why not braids or twist outs? In truth, I don’t braid. I wish I could! Because I wear my hair down, Alina wants to also. Perhaps its cultural, and one day I’ll have my sister-in-law give me pointers on twists, but for now we’re sticking to Alina’s naturally defined curl pattern.

14. Frizz, frizz, frizz! I read a TON about other people’s frizz-ness. And again, while I’m happy you’re asking questions, I start to twitch thinking of my mom brushing my hair. Frizz is not healthy. Frizz means the hair is not moisturized. Frizz can mean you’re dry brushing. Ultimately, frizz means you don’t have ringlet curls. First, I would take a long and honest look at the hair texture and type (Alina is a C3) and determine if you’re expectations are in check. Alina doesn’t have long, loose curls like mine. Her’s are spirals… and they are gorgeous. Most definitely combat frizz, but be real on the hair texture your little one has.

15. I say NO to straighteners: I’ve been asked, but I’m hesitant answer. While I don’t judge a mom for taking care of her child’s hair how she sees fit, my daughter will never get a straightener on my watch. Ever. A fun, new straight hair style for a special occasion? Sure, when she’s much much older. A chemical process to remove the curl pattern from her hair indefinitely? Nope. Not with my money. I’ve never had a Brazilian Blow Out or messed with my hair that way, so I won’t allow my child to either. Curly hair is part of our identity and if she wants to abolish those curls, she’ll have to get a job and pay for it herself.

All Grown Up: Her FIRST Mixed Curly Haircut

This sweet baby is growing up and finally had her first curly haircut at 7 years-old. Read on to find out what we learned – about hair and ourselves. <3

A 7 Year-Old’s First Mixed Curly Haircut

biracial mixed curly hair tips and first haircut

BONUS: How about the boys? Check out our new favorite Curly Haircut for Boys!

Favorite Curly Haircut for Boys

Woo nelly, this post was giant. If you stayed till the end, thanks! Hope this helped a tiny bit. I promise to be back with more mixed hair tips in the future.

Check out the ENTIRE BIRACIAL HAIR CARE series here!


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77 Discussions on
“15 Most FAQ Answered: Curly Biracial Hair Care Tips”
    • I agree I’m a biracial 15 year old and i have super curly hair she hits everything on the head. Recently I’ve dyed my hair ombre and it isn’t worst but its definitely harder to have my natural curls show and as far as the straightening i believe that it should be a once in a while thing, I’ve made the mistake for applying heat to my head and not the best results.

  • Hi Vanessa,
    My daughter is 16 months old. I’m white and her dad is African american. I noticed the other day that she is starting to itch her head. So I’m assuming that its dry but I have no clue what to do with it. Her hair is a lot like your daughters hair. It gets so frizzy and most of the time all I do is wet it down and put it in a ponytail on top! But I know she has beautiful curls! Could you give me some pointers? I don’t want to be that mom that doesn’t know how to do hair!!

    • Jaci Ryan,

      I’m Biracial. My mom is African American my father Is White. My mom was in your shoes as to not knowing what to do. She did what she would do to her own hair…which didn’t work. She used different products and some worked most failed. It took a long time and a lot of misguided attempts with different products for me to get a good routine.

      For me “simple is best” Its work but it doesn’t take a lot of this and that to get the job done.


      Wide Tooth Comb!!!! A must have for Detangling.
      (honestly when i’m rocking the curls this is the only tool I use)

      If you want to put her hair in pony tails a brush is good but for just letting the curls reign free NO brush is needed.


      -Coconut Oil
      (yep! Coconut oil….you can get it from a health food store or most grocery stores in the multi-cultural or ethnic section)

      -Good Conditioner (you will use a ton of this so don’t break the bank)
      -Spray Bottle (a small dollar store one will work just fine)

      Ok so BEFORE washing take a good little dollop (for your baby maybe a dime to nickle size dollop of the coconut oil heat it up so that its all melted shouldn’t take more then 15 secs in the microwave (in a microwave safe dish of course)use your finger tips and just massage it into the baby scalp. NO need to drench her hair with the oil. This gives her scalp a healthy dose of GOOD oils that is not only safe for baby but great for her hair as well.I say let it sit for a couple minutes this could be done prior she can run and play while you wait. No need to use “grease” (BTW “grease” is horrible for the scalp). After that’s all done time for wash. You don’t have to wash her hair more then once. Unless she has more hair then an adult once should be just fine..

      Ater a good wash,and while still wet. Condtion, I would go for a nickle dollop maybe a slight bit more depending on how much hair she has. Enough to where you can kinda see it but its not heavily drenched. once you have applied the conditioner…Take that wide tooth comb and Section her hair off.(Make four little loose pony tails if it helps) Take one section at a time,HOLD THE TOP near the roots and starting at the bottom of the section comb the tangles out moving to the top of the section as you go. once at the top you should be able to pull the comb completely through her now tangle free section. The Wide tooth comb and the conditioner should make this process slightly less painful for you and her. Pay special attention to her ends because that’s where the damage takes place first.

      Section one is done..and all combed out move to section two and so on and so forth…REMEMBER TO ALWAYS start at the bottom. Combing tangles from the top down HURTS REALLY BAD!!!

      The reason for the spray bottle…If, as you are combing your sections they start to dry out…water in the spray bottle will help provide “slip” like fresh washed hair. Combing curly hair dry HURTS REALLY BAD…and you may lose the comb πŸ™‚

      Now I leave my conditioner in I don’t wash it out. However, some frown upon this and like to wash out…your choice. Now pick out some pretty bows, still the way you want, and LEAVE IT ALONE!!!! You can either let her hair air dry or use a dryer with a diffuser on low heat (i recommend this because she is a little baby and could get sick)

      Once again LEAVE IT ALONE!!! constantly fussing with the curls is what causes more frizz…Her hair will get dry and may not have that wet lock all day but I promise it will look nice. if her hair seems to be a little extra dry a small amount of coconut oil on her ends or Dry Oil spray (carols Daughter makes a great one) will help without adding a lot of buildup..

      OOOh Before I forget…

      If you combine water and conditioner in the spray bottle (shake to combine) the next morning instead of going back through that whole process (or if shes being extra fussy) you can spray her hair with the combination just enough to revive the curls, if her hair is thick, lift and spray…and let her go.

      Sorry I know that was long but I hope it helps

      • I really thank you for this. I have a daughter and I am often confused with what to do with her hair. Her mother when she has her doesn’t do anything with it. I am now learning how to do it myself. It is defiantly an learning curve for me.

        • You’re very welcome, Mike. Your daughter will grow up to know her daddy took the time to care for her. Regardless of if you can tie a ponytail or not, you’re doing a great job. Keep it up!

      • This is fantastic advise my niece is biracial and her hair I swear is near impossible. My hair is blonde very very thin and straight as straight can be!!! You make absolute perfect sense that I have been trying to figure out for 5 years now! Thank you tons!

        Crystal from North Idaho

      • thank you so much for your in-depth review of what your own hair and how you would manage a child’s hair like your own. My daughter is 6 and mixed black/white (I’m Italian and greek but have kinda frizzy naturally curly hair). her hair is thick, spiral gorgeous curls but gets really tangled and knotted at the base and dries out quickly. I literally have cried over her hair before because right when I think we have a good routine down I ask for someone else’s advice and while helpful, I feel overwhelmed because apparently there is a lot I am not doing right. Her dad who she spends 50% of her time with is hot and cold about doing her hair so some days it isn’t done at his house and I am left to deal with the “mess”. I liked your idea of mixing conditioner and water in a bottle. School bus comes early in the morning and I need to be able to add some quick moisture without combing it out each morning (have been starting to comb it out at night). she is trying to be a champ but is very tender headed and after not having a consistent hair routine for almost 6 years of her life- well as you can imagine there is a lot of drama. Anyways I am saving your comments and will be hopefully incorporating them into our routine. thank you again!

      • I totally agree!! COCOnut oil works best im a 15 year old biracial teen that tends to get dry scalp for harsh winters and coconut oil and tea tree oil is magical!!

  • Hi,

    I am caring for my grand daughter for the next school year and she is 5. I am new to this type of hair and I am curious what you mean when you say “co-wash”. What is the difference between Shampooing and Co-Washing? I am realizing that shampooing every other day is still too much even for the summer.

    • Hi Pam, A co-wash is the idea of washing hair without stripping it of its moisture. The whole squeaky clean thing is not what you want with curly, mixed hair. You now find co-wash products that help keep hair clean, but adding back moisture too. Pantene makes a co-wash that can be found everywhere, but I really love Carol’s Daughter new co-wash product (it’s in a white bottle with red lettering). Even with co-washes, try to limit them as much as possible. Every other day would be entirely too much with Alina’s hair. Hope this helps, and enjoy your granddaughter this summer!

  • Hello… I was reading over your site,,, and got lost… I have a mixed little girl her dad is African American and I’m white… I was her hair once a week with Shea moisture shampoo and conditioner… I was the shampoo out and the conditioner completely out… After her hair dries I use a leave in conditioner to spray in her hair to be able to get the tangles out so I can pull it up and I put some oil in it to help it become shinny and not look dry… Can you please send me a step by step of how you do your daughters hair when it comes to washing it and leaving the conditioner in and how often you do everything… I would be forever grateful and maybe not feel so lost!!! Thank you… My email is

  • Just found this site and I love it! I am Mexican-American (Tejana) and my hubby is Jamaican/American. I followed your hair posts and my kiddo now has GORGEOUS curls for days. Thank you so much! I had not found another site or resource that was as helpful in helping me highlight her beautiful curls. Like you, we have always been anti-brush and I also don’t braid or want to put her hair into tight styles. Gracias!

  • Hi Vanessa, I’m a 19 year old mixed race female – African mother and white father. I’ve been reading through countless blogs and websites looking for tips and advice on caring for my hair, yours is great!

    Earlier this year my hair was in a terrible condition as I didn’t care for it appropriately so about 6 weeks ago I decided to cut it all and start from scratch. I have coconut oil (which I haven’t started using routinely) and I only comb my hair in the shower, with a wide toothed comb, after applying Tresemme conditioner ( I don’t use shampoo) – I do this almost everyday with hope that the conditioner will keep it moist but throughout the day it dries up and becomes dull. It’s still quite short, probably about 3cm long or so, if I pull it.

    I really need some guidance on this and tips to help it grow into the healthy hair it has potential to be. It’s hard to tell the type of curls I have as I’d brush it out before cutting and rarely left it to be natural and curly. I’ve cut my hair a few times but it get ruined each time!

    I’ve heard a lot about mixed chicks and will be looking for where I can find it (there are no wall marts in England unfortunately!) Id really appreciate if you could assist me with a routine and products for my short curls πŸ™

    Please help! ( sorry for the lengthy post)

  • My daughter is 20 months and has curly hair, my hair is super fine and dries straight so I’ve been totally clueless with what to do with hers. So after reading this..embarrassed to say I shampoo it all the time and comb her hair out completely while it’s covered in conditioner. And then I was just using a kids mousse afterwards. I really hope I didn’t ruin her curls for good, can that happen? Definitely going to get some products got her tomorrow.

  • I have two little boys with spiral curls. After 4 years of trial and error- with advice from everyone under the sun- we finally have stress free Sunday’s and perfect curls. Thanks to you, I learned I was using way too little conditioner and setting them up for failure by not continuously adding it throughout the week. I also bought the Ouidad double comb and the tangle teezer- both or which have helped tremendously in combination with your procedure. We literally went from 2 hours of detangling to just 15 minutes! For 10+ inches of toddler hair! Thank you so much!

    • How awesome, Carrie! And a BIG THANK YOU for the comb mention. I’ve been working on a post about the different combs I use to produce different curls patterns, but wanted to do more research first. I’m totally going to check out the Quidad comb!

  • Hi there! I just came across your blog and am in desperate need of your help! I have a 4 year old bi-racial son who’s hair was ringlet curls. In the past year, it has started to grow completely straight through the crown. The front/side/back is all fairly tight curl but the crown is growing out perfectly straight. I’m fearful it’s something I did. He wears his hair long but now the straight part is driving me nuts and hanging over his curls into his eyes. I now realize that it may be due to my improper care. My husband bought a double sided bristle brush and we’ve been using that and I don’t deep condition. My older boys have hair texture more like me (caucasian) so I didn’t consider his hair needing different care. Help!?! Could the brush be the problem? Any suggestions?

    • Without seeing photos or knowing any more about your little guy’s hair, I really don’t think you could have caused the hair to grow straight from the roots. Our kids are mixed, so their hair might be too. My girl has really loose curls at the top, and extremely tight curls underneath. Don’t stress, mama! Lose the brush and condition his hair. It’ll be okay. xoxo

  • Hi! I’m a teenager with a horrible habit of playing with my hair!!! It’s the only thing that keeps me sane when we take crazy long notes in class and I have nothing else to do. I have this one curl from when I was younger from when I had layers (I went from a 1B (practically no curls…to a 2B) and it’s longer than the rest. I play with it non-stop and it’s now just one long wave down my back. My mom always says that the more I play with my hair the more likely it’s going to come out when I’m older (which I have some crazy thick hair so if my playing with it is THAT bad..than I defiantly need to stop…) and I want to break this habit. Any suggestions?

    • Playing with your hair can become a bad habit if its prone to break, etc. Try tying your hair away from your face while you’re breaking the habit. Also, recognize the habit’s cue (note taking at school) and add a new habit to replace the old. The fact that you’re aware of this habit is already a great start! As soon as the habit’s cue starts, be sure to replace a new behavior. Good luck!

  • Hi!
    I was reading this because I was curious about what other people did with bi-racial hair (I am bi-racial, my mom is white and my dad is black). I was basically a guinea pig for every kind of hair “cure” out there. Both of my parents and my aunts did this, that and everything. My hair would only grow so long and it was always frizzy. When I moved out my own I basically gave up on doing the things they had tried because they obviously didn’t work and I didn’t want to spend the time. In that time I learned there are still a lot of misconceptions about bi-racial hair.

    First of all, frizz is not always caused by a lack of moisture. I think that thought comes from the fact that hair isn’t frizzy when it’s wet. I’ve found that my hair looks frizzy when it’s actually greasy. I realized that when my hair looked frizzy it needed to be washed.

    Second, that my head was itchy because my scalp was dry and I should use product to combat that. Sometimes my head is itchy because my scalp is dry, but most of the time it’s from the products and natural oils that have built up. Especially those leave in conditioners! I used to use very little shampoo and leave my conditioner in because my hair looked tame but I realized that those products were hurting the overall health of my hair and scalp.

    Third, that washing my hair everyday would led to frizz and itch. This is absolutely wrong. I realized this when I started running everyday. I was so afraid to wash my hair after, but I was more worried about smelling bad. This is when I realized that washing my hair was not evil and actually that it was starting to look better.

    Fourth, that it can only grow so long. While I think it’s true that some people’s hair grows longer than others I completely believe that my hair wasn’t growing because of the amount of product sitting on my scalp. After I abandoned those products and got my hair trimmed regularly I realized my hair can be pretty long. I also realized that hair ties were not the reason my hair was breaking and falling out (In fact my hair ties used to be coated in my hair when I took down a pony tail or a bun and now there’s barely anything).

    Five is that I think blow drying isn’t the best choice. If I want my hair to curl less (shrink) then I wash it and put it in a french braid. I’ll do french braid pig tails if I want it to look more curly. Just one or two braids while I sleep. I do agree that going to bed with a wet head is no big deal. I take out the braid in the morning and it doesn’t curl up as much and doesn’t frizz as much either. If I do one braid it gives me fatter curls and waves in the front so I can pull it halfback if I don’t want it my face and the hair stays tucked away.

    Six, that I shouldn’t brush my hair. I brush my hair. I usually do it when it’s wet with a paddle brush right after a shower. It helps clean out hair that isn’t attached to my head anymore but is stuck in my curls and later just looks like frizz. I realized that wide toothed combs sometimes skip over those and you aren’t giving your hair the opportunity to turn over like healthy hair needs to.

    My routine has become so much simpler after I learned these things. I do buy expensive shampoo and conditioner (I use Aveda Smooth Infusions), but I realized the cost wasn’t that much more than buying all those products. I wash and condition my hair and rinse! I towel it dry and put it in a braid. I wake up the morning let the braid out and go! I use a light weight serum or a style prep when I know it’s going to be humid. I do straighten my hair occasionally. I follow the same basic formula, but definitely use a style prep (I love Aveda’s style prep smoother) that I brush in before I put it in a braid. I let it air dry over night. Whatever isn’t dry usually dries within ten minutes of being out of the braid. The I use a straightener and it takes about 35-45 minutes (my hair goes to bra strap when straight). When I straighten it I often get comments from people I don’t even know about how shiny and healthy it looks. Other than that, I get it trimmed every 8 weeks. I only keep it long enough that the weight helps to keep the shape I like when it’s down.

    Now my favorite thing is to go to a new salon (I used to dread them and cry) because the hair stylist always (always!) comments on how healthy my hair is. A lot of them have even asked me what my secret is. My secret is that I realized that hair is hair. It might look different, but it’s all just hair. Kind of just like people πŸ™‚

    • Hi Jessica, this is awesome! Thanks so much for the thorough comment! My little one hasn’t gone through puberty and doesn’t sweat like grown women do, so the lack of washing hasn’t been an issue with her scalp. I battle with similar issues, so I’m definitely on the look out! In the meantime, we co-wash inbetween big washes. I’m working on an update to this post; since she’s turned 5 her, our routine has changed a bit. It’s mostly the same, but I do now use a brush on occasion and own a variety for different purposes. I pretty much only use a comb + fingers to detangle though and am diligent to remove any knotted curls/hair. We call detangling “letting her curls dance”m πŸ™‚ At this age, I’m starting to teach her about the products we use and their purposes. I encourage her to feel her hair and notice when it’s dry, etc, hoping that when she embarks on establishing her own curl identity, we’ve given her a healthy base to start at. So happy to hear you’re loving your curls! I hope my daughter can feel as empowered with her tresses as you do one day.

    • OMG this is the info i’ve been searching for!! My daughter is biracial (white like me/african american as her father), and 7 years old. Her hair just started going through this texture change. All i have been able to do is moisturize and put in a ponytail, bun, 2 ponytails, french braids, but whatever it is it’s always UP and she hates it!! She wants to wear her hair down like her friends at school, and i feel so bad!! THANK YOU JESSICA!! I am gonna start trying this TODAY!! Charcy will be very pleased to be able to let her hair down πŸ™‚

  • hey Veronica, I absolutely love this page. It has helped me out a lot! I need some tips on dry hair though. I have two daughters and their both half Caucasian and half African American. One has curly hair that is the texture of my hair(white girl hair) lol. M y other daughters hair is more of the African American texture and it always seems so dry .I feel like I’ve tried everything and I am at a complete loss. Please help.

    • Haha, no problem hun… I know what you meant πŸ™‚ As for your sweet girl’s hair, how much conditioner are you using? Have you tried using oils or masques? My girl is 5 and I’m noticing the same issue with dryness these days. I make sure she drinks a ton of water and an experimenting with different remedies now. I’ll report back as soon as I find a solution that works for us! xo

  • Hi !! I’m 16 and this post actually helped me out so so much !!! Im 1/2 Asian Indian and 1/2 black. I have hair that is no where near your daughter’s, but still love reading your posts. It took me awhile to actually embrace my curls.. (Straighteners were my best friend during middle school :/ ) Anyway, thank you so much for creating this blog.

    Love, tati

  • I am biracial but much more white than african american. My hair is about a 3B curl. (Medium) The texture of it is super fine like I have seen on some blond people, but very curly. It drives me crazy when I wash and condition it. It is like it has a Jekyl and Hyde personality. It goes limp and loses all of the curl if I condition just a little too much or is super dry and crispy on the ends if I do not condition or wash it well enough. It also behaves differently in Summer than in Winter. In Summer if I do not wash it every day very well, it is greasy by noon. In Winter, I can’t condition it enough and frizzes very easily. I guess I need help with chooses the right hair care products and proper cleansing regime. I also use a curling iron to re-curl it into a style that works with my cut. (It is layered) Help!

  • I am biracial but much more white than african american. My hair is about a 3B curl. (Medium) The texture of it is super fine like I have seen on some blond people, but very curly. It drives me crazy when I wash and condition it. It is like it has a Jekyl and Hyde personality. It goes limp and loses all of the curl if I condition just a little too much or is super dry and crispy on the ends if I do not condition or wash it well enough. It also behaves differently in Summer than in Winter. In Summer if I do not wash it every day very well, it is greasy by noon. In Winter, I can’t condition it enough and frizzes very easily. I guess I need help with chooses the right hair care products and proper cleansing regime. I also use a curling iron to re-curl it into a style that works with my cut. (It is layered) Help!

  • Hi ya, I have a beautiful 1 yr old daughter. I’ve done my research on how to take care of her hair, I wash it once a week, shampoo then condition and then I add leave in condition (products from- mixed chicks for kids) and her curls are there then of course goes to bed and comes out (understandably) in the morning when I get her ready and twirl her hair it stays for a bit but comes out.. My husband keeps telling me it’s cause her hair is short, but it’s not that short.. also her hair looks dry, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.. I don’t know if I’ve made any sense lol.. help plz! thanks

    • Is she sleeping on a satin pillowcase? It could very well be that her hair is still super short, but making sure her hair is hydrated each morning will go a long way. Also, at 1 year old, her texture can be changing. Sounds like you’re doing a great job though, mama!

  • Hi Vanessa,

    My mother is white, my father black. I have spent the entirety of my childhood and teen years trying to figure out what works on my hair. When I was very young (6 or so) my mom started with relaxers on my hair making it completely straight. When I got into high school I cut it all off because I wanted to go back to my natural hair and my mom talked me into putting texturizers in my hair (she had no idea what she was doing). No I am 21 and have not put any chemical treatments in my hair in 3 or so months. I am extremely self conscious about my hair because I was teased many times throughout school because of it even obtaining the nickname bush through junior high. I have been reading your posts and I see some wonderful ideas but my question is do you think if maybe I cut all my hair off and start completely over it will help. I think what you are doing here is magnificent and just want to say thank you in advance for taking the time to post this information; my hair is a big part of my self esteem/confidence and I very rarely have any.

    • Hi sweet Jazmine, My mom didn’t know much about curly hair either. I think things were different back then and I’m sure your mama did the best with the information she had at the time. That being said, as a young adult, know that you are NOT your hair! Whether you cut it off or not, aiming to be healthy is the ultimate goal. That’s all I say to my daughter – straight is beautiful when its healthy, curly hair is beautiful when its healthy…. and so are your insides: a healthy self esteem and confidence is the most beautiful thing you can wear. So my question to you is, do YOU think cutting it off will help your self esteem be healthy? There are TONS of awesome, short hair styles out there right now… so ya, chop it! But only if you’re up to owning that massive change. Slowly letting your hair grow out and caring for it is also a great option and honestly, probably the route I would take. There is nothing wrong with either one. xoxo, Vanessa

  • This has been by far the number 1 place that has actually helped me with my nieces hair. She however has very very different hair my hair is as straight as straight can be and very very thin. Her mom has medium thickness and wavy hair, her dad African American. My little Taliyah has very kinky hair about 5 inches thick just massive thick hair, kind of like a sheep, (I’m not trying to be mean when I say that either) and then comes to thin up a bit and then thin wavy tips, about 3 inches of we don’t keep it cut off. Please help me on how to even distinguish any curls instead of sheepish like hair.

    Taliyah and Crystal

  • Hi Vanessa, I am white and my husband is black and we have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter. I am at a loss as to what to do in the mornings with her hair! She gets a bath every Sunday and Thursday. I wash her hair with African Pride Dream Kids detangle miracle line and leave it in for about 3-5 mins to let it do its ling, then I rinse it out and add( the same brand) conditioner. I apply enough so it covers all of her hair then I start the lovely task of combing out the knots. Once I am done and her hair is smooth, I wet my hands and run it through her hair to get the extra conditioner out and leave the rest to moisturize her hair. After I get her out and dressed, she has the most beautiful and soft ringlets!! I absolutely love them!! I let her hair air dry then she goes to bed. But then the next morning I am faced with a big ball of frizz and knots! Idk what to do, I am so lost! I use detangler spray to get the ringlets back but she has a good amount of my hair and it makes her hair oily and heavy. Any tips or product I can use to keep her ringlets alive for more than a day and also what I can do on the days she doesn’t get a bath?

  • Thank You, Thank you, Thank you for this article. My daughter is now 6 and our hair washing day (1x/week) is always a night we both would like to avoid. After reading this article i went out and purchased a few of the products (some I was already using) but I have to say the Eden Deep Conditioner as a leave in as been a LIFE SAVER. I think i combed her hair in under 5 minutes last nite and with zero tears. Not only was it easy to comb through but her curls were so dropped compared to before when they would shrivel up after washing and brushing. I am still working on the curl management in between washings and trying to get as much moisture in the curls each day. But this is a work in progress.

  • I have 2 girls 19 and 2. They have completely different hair which is different from mine.

    The 19 year old has hair that is long and curly in the back and wavy in the front. She has never been chemically straightened. Her hair is washed about every three weeks. She likes the Shea Moisture curl enhancing shampoo and conditioner. Her hair tangles when wet. To keep the hair moist while detangling and styling we spray with distilled water. A wide tooth comb is used for detangling. When she is wearing her hair in twist outs she washes and conditions and then applies olive oil to the hair before twisting. She re twists every other night and wears a satin bonnet. When she wears her hair straight she uses the Shea Moisture blow out cream and Biosilk Silk therapy. She also wraps her hair each night using a vent brush and satin scarf.

    For the 2 year old. She has long hair that is dry and curly hair. Her hair is washed once a week. Her hair is normally tangle free. However, when it needs to be washed it starts to tangle and becomes even dryer. We use the Eden Jojoba Monoi shampoo and conditioner. The hair is sprayed with distilled water to keep it moist. I oil her scalp with Jamaican Black Castor oil and apply olive oil and Liv Hair cream to the hair only not the scalp. Then brush with the Denman brush. The castor oil stinks but it is amazing on her dry hair. I then twist or braid her hair every other night. She wears puffs from time to time. But, I make sure to twist or braid at night. This helps keep in the moisture.

    What I have learned. Hair can be different even when children share the same parents. You have to find a routine that works best for the hair you are taking care of. Both of my girls love their hair. Even though my hair has been chemically straightened since I was 5 my goal is to keep my girls chemical free as long as possible. It is important that girls have “hair confidence” and learned that no matter what kind of hair you have all healthy hair is beautiful.

  • Hi Vanessa,

    Just stumbled on your site, & I’ve got say it’s a great resource! Thanks for all this great info!!

    I do have a question for you (or other readers, as well). My daughter is black/white & currently 11 weeks old. Almost everything I’m reading in posts & comments talks about much older children (10 mos, 18 mos, toddler age). She was born with a full head of hair & its growing very fast, but I worry about introducing product too soon. Currently, I’m just using her all-in-one wash on her hair twice a week, with a dollop of conditioner left in afterward. I comb when she’s in the tub. But it’s just starting to frizz after a day or two. When did you start Alina’s hair care routine?

    My own hair is very curly with a tendency towards frizz. So I fully understand the routine needed, but at what length did you really need to start with the product? (For example, when I cut to a pixie, I obviously can reduce my hair care line-up. πŸ˜‰)

  • I came upon your site during a Google search and this has really given me some good ideas to try. I am African American and my husband is Puerto Rican. Our son has curly hair and it always looks dry to me. I apply a moisturizer daily but by the end of the day his hair looks really dry. Do you have any tips for boys with biracial curly hair?

  • I am a 20 year old biracial woman and people always tell me how beautiful my hair is. I always feel self conscious of my curls and think they are just being nice because I don’t think my hair is anything special. Up until a month ago, I would straighten my hair weekly. But after reading this, I feel beautiful and realize I’m not alone. Your daughter is so beautiful and the tips you share are so great! My mother used to manage my hair as a child, but as I got older and was allowed to do my own hair, I thought having straight hair was the “normal” thing. After reading your post, I feel like my natural curly hair is something I can work with. I will definitely use your tips to maintain my wild curly hair so I don’t feel like straightening it is the only option.

  • Hey just like to add combs suck as well lol even wide tooth ones.. im a mixed woman and i use a detangling Brush and omg it’s a god send! Especially while detangling with leave in or just conditioner πŸ™‚
    Best wishes

  • So, what exactly do you do to your daughter’s hair in the morning to get her ready for the day? I have read about the Sunday washing and the night routine,but what about the get ready for the day routine? Maybe I missed it somewhere.

    • Hi Courtney, at this age, I used to wet her hair with a spray bottle that would then reactivate the conditioner I left from the night before. I then used my finger tips to smooth the curls down, eliminating any frizz from the night before. Depending on the hair type and age, that should work for the day’s styling. If needed, I added a bit of leave in condition that provided a bit of hold. Hope that helps!

  • I find that only when I use too much leave in product do I experience shrinkage. And the shrinkage is real! It shrinks to half its length. As long as I don’t use too mich, but make sure i get it thru of my hair, my curls are long and soft. Great job with your kids. I wish my mom had your knowledge!

  • How do you find out hair type? And is a banded pony tail just a regular pony tail? New momma here of precious 20 month old mixed baby. I want her hair to be super healthy and huge and gorgeous and I’m trying to figure out a routine. Thanks so much!

    • Give google a try! There are plenty of hair charts to help you determine their hair type. And yes, I say banded to mean just a regular ponytail with bands every few inches to hold it together. I like this method better than braids because it keeps her pretty curls more intact that way. Hope that helps!

  • I love everything you say and I think it is helpful. The only part i question is WHAT products to use. Obviously, all mixed hair is not created equally. I’ve read about high and low porosity hair and wonder… i guess how much you think that matters. It seems like no matter what I use in my daughter’s hair, it always seems very very dry. (Or, with something really heavy, her hair will just be totally weighed down by build up.) I wonder if there are any products you might suggest that work for different types of hair, or possibly things to look for in products (coconut oil, jojoba, argan, etc) that you think might absorb well/ work for exceptionally dry hair. (or conversely, things to avoid.) Thanks.

  • Vanessa please help with some advice. My 2 year old daughter is mixed and has tight ringlet like curls we use shae moisture products as well as cantu leave in conditioner and it really helps to keep her curls tight and looking good the issue is when she goes to bed she will wake up in the morning with big nots and flat parts in her curls shes a very active sleeper lol. So ill have to wet it with a spray bottle and put the cantu conditoner in and comb it.out with a wide tooth comb everyday she can never wake up and wear her hair without having to style. Ive wanted to get a satin bonnet but havent been able to find a child size can you give me any advice to prevent this from happening?

  • Hi Vanessa! I’m a big fan of your blog. I’ve learned a lot of what I know about curly hair from you! Thank you for all the information! I’m the white, straight-haired mom of biracial kids (black/white) and am constantly working on improving my methods and learning how to properly care for their gorgeous curls.

    After reading your posts, I decided that I would never use a brush on their hair, either. My daughter was born with straight hair, so I brushed it while it was straight, but once it curled up, I stopped. However, I recently came upon another curly hair blog, which enlightened me on the existence of a magical brush unlike any other – it’s called the Wet Brush Detangler, and it’s phenomenal! I wasn’t familiar with detangler brushes, so I don’t know – maybe they are all like that – but this one is just amazing. I used it on my own hair first, and just like advertised, it detangled my tangly mess without any pulling or pain! So I decided to try it on my toddler girl’s hair for the detangling part of our routine – once her hair is wet and has conditioner in it. My girl is 3 and her hair is about 3b/3c when dry, but it straightens out quite a bit when wet. It’s also very fine and thin, and there just isn’t enough of it for a comb when it’s wet. When it’s wet, it clings to her scalp in a thin veil, and when I comb it, I feel like I’m just scratching her scalp. That’s why I wanted to try a brush. The Wet Brush Detangler worked wonders on her hair! I was able to get all the knots out without any pulling, with magical ease and efficiency! I now use it for every detangling I need to do, including sometimes in the morning if there are any major knots when I’m re-defining her curls with a spray bottle and styling product. I bought one of those brushes for myself as well, and that’s all we use now.

    I know your opinion on brushes, and it does make sense, but I’ve been so happy with this special brush that I wanted to share it here, in case you or anybody else wanted to give it a try. It was meant for curly hair, and it does the job really well, while being gentle on the curls. I think it’s worthy of an exception to the rule, for the sake of detangling πŸ™‚

  • i would love to ask more questions like if your hair wet an its curly does it mean i am mixed and one more question how to get curly hair naturally i would love to know that so much

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