Good Bye, Nevada.

Today is Nevada Day, did you know? Today, this state in which we’ve lived for almost ten years turns 150 years old. As a state holiday, the kids have the day off from school. My bank is closed. All so the citizens of Nevada acknowledge it’s legacy and history.

In July of 2005, I drove my car into the valley and the thermometer read 115 degrees. I didn’t have much, but that didn’t matter. I had just bought a house and was hopeful that the relationship I was bringing along with me from California would turn into the happily ever after I yearned for. Back then, to me, Vegas symbolized everything hopeful. I left a job in social services to work in wholesale residential lending. I left the confines of societal norms to pursue an interracial relationship. I left the security of my mom and close friends to mend a strained relationship with my dad, who had recently divorced my step-mom. Even so, in the last ten years, I accomplished so much while in Las Vegas, Nevada.

And now it’s time to say good bye…

Motherhood Is The Master Designer Of Family Legacy

Over the summer, I read a book about minimizing your work load so that you’d have more time to do what you love. It was an airport read, but ultimately propelled a chain of events that is altering our family legacy. Similar to my favorite authors on personal finance, this book basically toted the philosophy of purposed decision making. It said: the sum of your decisions is called your life. Isn’t that overly simple, yet profound? Make decisions according to your values, and you’ve designed a life that feels right for you. Make choices without purpose, or according to values other than your own (society, your family, peers), and you’re guaranteed to feel unsatisfied.

As a mother and the master designer of my family legacy, I had become extremely unsatisfied with living in Vegas. Nevada now symbolized everything that lacked and housed nothing that I wanted for my children. And so, after years of talking about it, months of diligent (and I mean seriously imperfect) praying, we haphazardly decided to (very silently) put our house on the market. We told no one about our plans. I didn’t post a status updates or blogs. This entire process has been a very personal, inward-focused evolution for our family. This decision is on purpose.

Why We’re Leaving Las Vegas

The house sat on the market for a few weeks. Investors looked and called, but this isn’t an investor home. It was priced high, filled with love and value that investors aren’t willing to pay for. And then, it happened… They were an hour late, so I had stopped stressing about keeping the house together. I let the kids dismantle the couch and make forts. I served them lunch. And then, a pregnant woman walked into my home, followed by her husband and realtor. She was white, her husband Latino, and as she left, I just knew. I started packing that night. Our house was sold.

For her, this house in Vegas will serve her family legacy beautifully. But for us, Vegas is no longer where I can live my life –  my multiracial children deserve different, if not exactly better.

We’re leaving Nevada because it – as a state – is not what I want for my family. Nevada’s education system fails our ambitions to raise bilingual kids. Nevada’s politics are hardly aligned with my values. I’m not a “raging Liberal”, but even a moderate swing voter would find it difficult here. On the surface (where a busy mom like me resides), Nevada politics show me no real diversity, in race or religion or thought. I don’t want to see gun-toting “cowboys” as I run my errands. I don’t want to hear about propositions that outlaw the use of Spanish, even within homes. I don’t want to defend why blackface on Halloween (or as a graduation prank) is insulting. I don’t want to wonder if a restaurant is going to follow the “no smoking” laws. Or have to maneuver around exotic dancers in my grocery store. Or have to avoid the large tourist sector of the city with my children because casinos values run the city. All this was fine before I was a mom, but now… my values are different.

There are so many reasons to love Vegas – the beautiful people that reside here, just beyond the city light, are a huge reason why – but they are not enough reason for us to stay.

As far as I know, we have only one life… one chance to raise our kids according to the values that are important to us… and Nevada is no longer the land of hope and opportunity it once was for me.

Para mis amores, my A+S,

What chaotic lives you’ve lived this last year! As we transition from one set of values (that no longer fulfilled us, as parents) to a purposefully designed life, you two have been our rocks. One day, my sweet girl, as you saw my frustration mounting, you sang a silly song from Yo! Gaba Gaba!. You said, “Mommy, keep trying! Keep trying! Don’t give up, never give up.” That song has become our family mantra when things get stressful.

My babies, I will never give up on offering you what you need to grow into the resilient adults I hope you to be. My biggest accomplishment in life is to know that, when confronted with an obstacle, your immediate reaction is “I might be scared. But I’ve got this.” I could CARE LESS what you are, but I wish so much for how you do. I see so many possibilities in your futures, and I would be lying if I said this move from Vegas isn’t entirely about you. Because it is. If I wasn’t your mom, Vegas might actually be okay. But as the mother of this legacy – the mother of our multiracial family – Vegas is absolutely not where I see us doing our best.

I pray everyday that this choice is the right one. Your dad and I don’t know for sure. Life doesn’t have 100% guarantees. But, we’re evolving purposefully, with a sincere hunger to do right by our children, and that’s why we’re leaving Vegas.

Te quiero tanto,

Su Mama